


lost

by bakatenshi



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:11:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2297762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakatenshi/pseuds/bakatenshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Haru might’ve been feeling after he ran off and ended up in his own bed. Chapter 2 is Rin comforting Haru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A drabble on how Haru might’ve been feeling after he ran off and ended up in his own bed. (I might add another chapter of Rin showing up to comfort him. )

No one truly knew what he was thinking or what he was really going through and it was really his fault because of keeping it all inside and denying that fact that it was there.

Like some elephant in the room he was trying desperately to ignore.

He’d heard it all time and again as of late. Scouts. Scouts. Fucking Scouts. Future. All of it raining down on him like a waterfall full of nails shoving him into a coffin he didn’t want to be in. He, for now, he just wanted it to go away to all just disappear.

He could hear all the voices when he fell asleep and had the same nightmare over and over again. Running away from everyone as they seemed to be trying to tell him how to live his life. How could they understand when all of them had a dream? When all of them knew what they wanted for the “future.”

Haru curled into his blanket hiding even his face as if that would protect him from his own mind. But his mind didn’t want to give it a rest and it was almost worse than others that had confronted him time and again. Over and over.

Deep down, he knew they cared. Deep down he knew he was being rather irrational but a person can only take so much pressure. Like a volcano, eventually it will cause an eruption and in this case, it had been of his emotions. Coming front and center to the point that he’d almost cried in front of all of his swim club friends. So he’d run away.

He’d never made it home so fast, shedding his clothes and jumping into the shield of his bed sheet. It seemed to take forever for him to fall asleep.

Before he could, he broke down…he could feel the not so familiar dampness warm against his cheeks. As he encased himself more into his blanket. Like it was a mom hugging him and protecting him from it all. At times like this, he could also feel quite lonely.

It felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. It felt like swimming had turned into the expectations of others, rather than something he did because he loved. He’d barely managed to hold himself together for the relay. But after hearing about Sousuke, he found a motivation - to help someone else find their dream.

The boy could be selfless in that way, like when he’d helped to save Rin last school year but it seems when it comes to himself. He is like a lost puppy that cannot seem to find its way home.

Haru sighed with heavy frustration as the hot tears streamed down his face. He was grateful to be alone for now because he was not okay and he didn’t care for anyone to see him like this. He’d never felt quite so vulnerable and exposed in his entire life.

Even the water seemed to be betraying him as it felt like he was going to drown from all the pressure when he’d been swimming his last freestyle race. He knew it disqualified him but that had never been why he swam. At that moment, he felt like a bird in a cage at the zoo. Felt all the eyes on him and then recalled the damn nightmare that had haunted him and been the most profound the night before.

The only thing bringing him comfort right now was his blanket that he wrapped himself up in. It could shield him from the pain, it could hug him and it could hide his tears. But it wasn’t enough. Somehow he wished to be held but he didn’t dare ask and he didn’t dare show anyone this side of himself.


	2. Rin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin shows up to comfort Haru.

Makoto had called him which was rare but after hearing about how Haru was not himself and had not left his house for days. Rin had to intervene. Haru had saved him and he felt a sense of obligation to return that favor.

He must've rang the door bell a million times or at least it had felt that way. He sighed and remembered being told about the back door often left unlocked. It was strange and also nostalgic as he entered the house that seemed unchanged for the most part. The only thing missing was probably the warmth of Haru's grandmother.

Rin ascended the stairs slowly, creaking sounds seemed all too loud in the deathly quiet house. He wasn't sure how he could remember where Haru's room was after all these years or how he somehow had this feeling that the boy hadn't bothered rising from his bed.

And that was soon confirmed as he saw a lump under Haru's blanket and all he could see were bare feet at the bottom and some black hair at the top. He stood at the door for the longest time, contemplating if he should speak or if maybe he should just hold Haru.

It wasn't like he'd never held him before but he'd never done it to bring him comfort. For the moment, he was pretty sure Haru was sleeping as all he could really hear was his soft breathing and that was only if he focused all his attention on the sounds around the room.

For Haru, of all people, to be in pain was hard for Rin to accept. Haru was this person he felt a strong bond with and especially when he swam against him or with him. Rin finally opted to speak after a long musing in the doorway.

"Haru?" He spoke softly as if he wanted Haru to hear but at the same time he didn't but soon enough he realized Haru was indeed awake.

"Go away." It was all he said and his voice that was usually so lifeless and seemed to have no emotion - at the moment it seemed to be filled with it.

Rin sighed to himself and crossed the room in a few short strides. He laid down on Haru's bed and awkwardly put his arm around him. There was no response at first and only a heavy sigh was heard. He didn't speak anymore because he figured maybe Haru was done with words and done with talking for the time being. (He couldn't have been more right if he tried.)

Haru seemed to welcome the embrace because he wasn't telling Rin to leave or trying to push him away. So Rin got more comfortable as he curled up to Haru in the odd way Haru was laying. It was like spoons as they say, Rin being the big spoon and Haru the little one. He pulled him closer with the arm he had around him. Hugging him as best as he could from his position.

And he just stayed like that.

*

Haruka had stayed in bed for days. It didn't matter with it being vacation time, there was no one left to bother him. He could feel the loneliness more with each passing hour. Each passing day. He lost track of time for now. He didn't even bother to get up and eat his beloved mackerel.

He was shocked that of all people Rin had showed up. Somehow letting himself in. Somehow knowing just what Haru needed right now and luckily without Haru having to say a word. Maybe it was because he'd had it rough last year and maybe that was how he related to Haru.

Or maybe he just wanted to be a comfort. He'd always been affectionate after all. He always threw him arm around Haru. Always. It was like that was where it belonged and yet when others tried the same, he wouldn't have it.

There was something about Rin and there always had been but it wasn't something he cared to delve into with his mind in such a mess. All he'd wanted was comfort. All he'd wanted right now was no words and to be held just like this.

The irony that it was also the right person holding him was like icing on the cake. He didn't have any answers for his future for now but at least he felt more at ease in Rin's arms.


End file.
